Quick thinking

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston .. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350 .. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains ... "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again .. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies ... No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay .. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager ... The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, this check is only made out for $50."..... "That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife." .. "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.. Well, too bad," the man replies... "She was here and you could have."

Quick thinking..... Similarly in marketing, it is those who can come up with such glib, make it to the top !

Saying the right thing, at the right time

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose.. Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed... Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table... Darlin, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping....Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks "Son...what happened last night?"... Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT! .... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, you tart, I'm married !

Broken furniture $85.26
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Red Rose bud $3.00
Two Aspirins $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless !

It is the same in marketing.... but only it is different people and different situations..... A lousy sales pitch when used at the correct moment, can have a much more effect than a high paid, advertising campaign...Likewise, a great sales pitch used at the wrong time can also have lousy results............ Some examples of marketing disasters, [although, nonetheless funny] are given below...

http://myspace-friends.blogspot.com/2007/02/american-marketing-disasters.html

Types of online marketing

Affiliate marketing is a wide subject that covers various aspects....

If you were asked to describe.. search engine marketing, affiliate-marketing, branding, SPAMMING and blog marketing... it in a few words, you would be at a loss of words..... as to how to portray it specifically....

However, it would be far more more easier, if you were to speak in the local lingo, ie., to say....

You see an awesome woman at a party. You approach her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
Now That's Direct Marketing..

You see an awesome woman at a party. You get her phone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing..

You're at a party and see an awesome woman. She walks up to you and says, "I've heard about you - you're fantastic in bed."
That's Branding..

You are hosting party that has lots of awesome women. A friend asks "how do I know which one is the most fantastic in bed?" You say, well according to all the blogs - she is!
That's Blog Marketing..

You are hosting party that has lots of awesome women. A friend says "so many beautiful women, how do they rank in bed?" You say, lets go to my office and Google them.
That's Search Marketing .

A guys on his way to a party realizes that there could be awesome women in all the houses he's passing. He climbs on the roof of a house near the center and shouts at the top of his lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's SPAM ..

You are at a party and refer a guy to go up and talk to a woman because you've heard that "she's really good in bed".
That's referral, and in some sort of a way, affiliate marketing

You tell a guy to go talk to a woman and tell him "she's really good in bed - a friend told me she was the best he ever had AND he rated her a 10!”
That's total affiliate marketing with good pre-sell and a dynamite testimonial..

The policeman and the prostitute

A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area and asked for her profession to which she replied that she was a social engineer.

The Policeman inquired further and asked her to be specific..

To which she countered... I build and destroy erections !

All about ass

digg.com.. they pride on their selection…

digg.com is a really cool site, users can submit storys, other users digg storys, storys that get dug 40 time get promoted to the front page, Which means big amounts of traffic!

http://digg.com/users/mark4/dugg
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Paid_Online_Surveys_And_Free_Surveys/

So, sign up and digg stories, my stories, and post your story link on this thread, and I and other diggers will digg it
Yeah digg.com is cool, but just remember to not to treat dig as a traffic generating site –

Just get into it, go over stories daily, and you will develop a liking for it not to mention the immense info you get through social networking. Besides, you would also updated regularly with THE latest news from fellow diggers.. remember, they pride on their selection…

So more than dig, it is these guys who’ll flag you, if you cut loose.

So as a closing line, don’t overdo it and get knocked off for spamming.

Thought for the day - doing the right thing..

Next to doing the right thing.... the most important thing is to let people know... you are doing the right thing....

Affiliate Marketing Networks Buyer's Guide (2006) From E-consultancy

E-consultancy's Affiliate Marketing Networks Buyer's Guide (2006) is essential reading for any company looking to implement or to improve an affiliate strategy, or for anyone that needs to research UK affiliate networks.

The 179-page affiliate marketing guide is the third produced by E-consultancy and Jessica Luthi, which first commissioned research into the sector in 2004.

Their market research suggests that the UK affiliate-marketing sector will be worth more than £2 billion in 2006, with 60% growth this year.

The value of UK sales generated from the affiliate channel alone, is estimated to be £2.16 billion for 2006, rising from around £1.35 billion in 2005. Commissions and fees paid out to affiliate networks (covering payments for both networks and affiliates) amounted to an esimated £83 million in 2005, and it is forecast that this figure will have risen to £133m million by the end of this year.

Although it is difficult to put exact numbers to this, this information is obtained from the range of estimates that they received from the leading affiliate solution providers in the UK and through the affiliate networks, excluding white label and self-administered schemes.

There is also insight from key industry players, a vendor matrix to help you quickly shortlist affiliate partners, and 18 in-depth profiles of affiliate networks, so you can quickly get the inside track and kickstart your campaign.

The guide also contains the usual mix of market research and sector growth forecasts, a SWOT analysis to give you a better understanding of issues relating to affiliate marketing, and practical advice on how to choose a network.

Thought for the day - Atheist

I am an atheist...... thank God!